Now that I am a Mum, a lot has changed for me, one thing I noticed most is how much I used to judge other Mums and parents. Before I had Hutch, I would look at other parents like a stuck-up know-it-all and often be horrified to see them: entertain their child with an iPad, say no to something only to say yes seconds later, hear screaming on an aeroplane (my resting bitch face was strong for this one) or even Mums who co-slept with their babies. I generally judged parents, even sometimes subconsciously, swearing not to make the ‘mistakes’ I believed them to be making. What an absolute idiot, disillusioned fool, I was! I was not a mother, my husband and I were not parents and we had absolutely no right to have any sort of opinion on others parenting techniques.
You must feel me on this one, Mums?
How many of you said you would never use a dummy, never use an iPad or allow screen time? I even told myself I wouldn’t use Panadol or Nurofen (I can see you rolling your eyes… I already admitted to being a fool).
Enter Master Hutch and ‘boy oh boy’ did this all go out the window! In the past 11 months we have done all of the following, not just for shits and gigs but to SURVIVE:
- We tried a dummy over and over, while he used my nipples for comfort, I tried everything to get him to attach to the dummy; no luck on that one!
- We formula-fed from two weeks old – this, I am incredibly proud of.
- Hutch was hospitalised at four months with Bronchiolitis and when they told me to administer Panadol, to help with discomfort, I did. I administered the shit out of that Panadol!
- iPad: now this is controversial! Hutch literally hates the car, so much so that from four weeks old, he would scream to the point of vomiting from the moment he was put in the car to the moment he was taken out, no matter what the distance. At three months old, my husband had, had enough of my mental breakdowns along with the general avoidance of the car and put an iPad in back seat; he downloaded The Wiggles and from that day, Hutch has never cried in the car and I can safely make it from one place to another paying full attention to the road. What is more important?
- Hutch is now at the age where he has discovered the ‘tantrum’ and for an 11-month-old he can seriously throw one; when I took a toy off him, because he kept throwing it out of his pram, he screamed so loudly that all of Chadstone was looking at me, I gave it straight back!
These are just a few examples and I am sure there are many, many more and Hutch is only 11 months old! This is going to get worse: he is going to learn to roll his eyes, to answer back and am I going to have to break so many more expectations, I had for myself?
Why am I telling you this? Why am I admitting to being an absolute fool? I am doing this because I am 100% sure I am not the only one.
To all the Mums (and to all the women with a uterus that may or may not become Mums, one day) my message is: stop judging!
If you think you won’t make those mistakes, STOP, because you will.
If you think your child won’t scream in public, STOP, because they will.
If you think that your child will never ever watch ‘the devil’ (the TV), STOP, because they will.
Support other Mums; if you see them struggling, help them, smile and offer the best sympathetic face that you can muster. We are a tribe, we all have a common goal and we MUST support one another!